Let it Go

It would be impossible to have a brave face on through the entirety of the battle. Its going to hurt- but let it go. Thats the only thing you can do. Thats the only thing you have absolute control over. 
 
When I had the HSG test (and diagnosed that my tubes were blocked), I was immediately told that the only way I would get pregnant was through IVF. A million thoughts blew through my mind. We lived in Ohio at the time and once I pulled myself together, I called my mom and asked her to leave work and drive from Michigan to stay with me. I spent the next two days off of work and on a couch doing little to nothing. 
 
Eventually, I had to let it go. Made plans, spoke to people that offered reassurance in that I could in fact get through this. After many more setbacks in between, lets fast-forward. We had made our move back to Michigan and I was just about to go forward with surgery to remove my tubes. I sat with my IVF doctor and I asked a very, real question. “Is this going to hurt?”. Her answer surprised me, yet completely set the tone for what I was up against. She said, “yes.”
 
Would I have wanted her to sugar coat it? Of course its going to hurt. It’s surgery! And it’s also going to hurt emotionally. But the most surprising part is that when I walked out of there, I came to terms with what I was about to embark upon. I’d live. I’d make it. I’d do ALL of this for my future family. 
 
The day of the surgery, I came home and as I sat on the couch I started to cry. Because I was so damn proud of myself. 
 
Let it hurt. Then let it go. You’ll see how strong you never knew you were.