It’s the only way out, right?
Another awesome support social with amazing women I’m lucky to be surrounded by.
Parked up on my deck while others sat on their couch, we cracked jokes of all the funny and uncomfortable things infertility brings.
We have all felt setbacks. We are scared of the future. The decisions we have to make along the way and the pressure we feel while we carry the weight of a failed pregnancy test. But if I’ve learned anything from these sessions, it’s that each and every one of us have faced our fears head on and rose to the challenge. For the girl who was paranoid of needles and made a commitment to give her own shots and for the girl who jumped back in after two failed rounds- I applaud you. Your strength and determination does not falter and I pray your dreams come true.
Like most classic love stories, Zach and I fell in love, married and started trying to build a family. Months turned into years, but with IVF and an amazing team of doctors, we were successful in conceiving our first son, Colton.
Like many others, we yearned for Colton to have a sibling but in addition to my infertility, I was also diagnosed with Asherman’s Syndrome (uterine scar tissue). Doctor appointments and my medical trials started to consume our life outside of work resulting in many cancelled plans and vacations. Our friend Amy desperately wanted to help us and realized that she in fact could. With several prayers and signs in her daily life pointing her toward the answer, she offered to be our surrogate. In the interim, I found myself pregnant with twins! We heard their heartbeats at 7 weeks but were devastated soon after to find that we lost both of them.
During a surgery to remove a fibroid sometime after, I was woken to my mom having to deliver more news to me. I would never be able to carry a baby again. It was then, we turned to Amy and moved forward with her as our gestational carrier. The gift of life she’s provided to Clayton has humbled us beyond measure. I can’t even begin to think of words to say ‘thank you as those words don’t even exist. Clayton will forever know his story, and know that Amy is the amazing angel that made his life possible.
We are now in our 13th year of our journey and another amazing angel has offered to help us as a carrier. We have remaining embryos and will be attempting IVF transfer in the weeks ahead. Her offer is once again- indescribable in words. ❤️🌈
Yesterday I was thinking about the surgery I had a few years ago to remove my tubes. I had just started posting about my infertility in Facebook after I caved and desperately needed the support.
Not sure why didn’t open up sooner. But when I did, I was flooded with private messages and people reaching out saying they had or are also going through the same thing.
There were times I looked at some of my closest friends and family for support. I was disappointed in a few of them by the silence I was met with. Maybe they didn’t know what to say. Maybe they were happy with their own pregnancies and felt awkward sharing their own happiness.
Whatever it was that kept those individuals at bay, I lost sight of all the others that supported me through and through.
Out of the 60, 120 or 1,000 people supporting you, don’t let one person put you in the dark.
You got this. We got this. Together.
And just like that. One chapter closes and another one opens. This weekend we bought a house. Five years ago, this house would have been a dream that I thought someone else would have achieved. But here we are, our first home up for sale. It got me thinking. All the little steps that led up to now, felt so small at the time. But all those little steps added up to something greater. Beyond what I ever thought possible.
While the days may feel long and each month passes with a negative, just know that the visits to doctors and blood results that come back- are just that- little steps. these days add up to the lessons learned along the way and a greater plan for the future.
When things finally solidify, its like a light bulb just instantly turns on. Your worry’s fall behind you and all of a sudden things fall into place.
Hang in there. You got this.