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“We got another 1% baby”

Probably the most vulnerable & raw story I’ve heard from any celebrity so far. 

As I’m packing my house and prepping to move next week, Good Bones was on HGTV and caught me dead in my tracks. Mina and her husband sitting down with their IVF doctor and discussing the results behind her failed cycle- or lack there of. 

The most devastating news to bear after all the shots and financial burden, is the silence that follows with having zero viable embryos to transfer. When asked what was the next step, I’m sure he had a lump in his throat when he gave her the honest to god truth- the next attempt may yield the same results. At this point her only options are adoption or a donor egg. 

I was in tears. This brought me right back to my own journey when the future felt so dark and the unknown too great. 

In the end, she chose to give it another shot. And was given a miracle. Another rainbow baby. Teaching all of us, no matter how bleak the situation, dig deep, follow your gut and go for it. ❤️🌈

“We got another 1% baby” -Mina Hawk

https://www.hgtv.com/shows/good-bones/minas-ivf-journey

Rising to the Challenge

Another awesome support social with amazing women I’m lucky to be surrounded by. 

Parked up on my deck while others sat on their couch, we cracked jokes of all the funny and uncomfortable things infertility brings. 

We have all felt setbacks. We are scared of the future. The decisions we have to make along the way and the pressure we feel while we carry the weight of a failed pregnancy test. But if I’ve learned anything from these sessions, it’s that each and every one of us have faced our fears head on and rose to the challenge. For the girl who was paranoid of needles and made a commitment to give her own shots and for the girl who jumped back in after two failed rounds- I applaud you. Your strength and determination does not falter and I pray your dreams come true. 

Hope & Perseverance

Like most classic love stories, Zach and I fell in love, married and started trying to build a family. Months turned into years, but with IVF and an amazing team of doctors, we were successful in conceiving our first son, Colton.

Like many others, we yearned for Colton to have a sibling but in addition to my infertility, I was also diagnosed with Asherman’s Syndrome (uterine scar tissue). Doctor appointments and my medical trials started to consume our life outside of work resulting in many cancelled plans and vacations. Our friend Amy desperately wanted to help us and realized that she in fact could. With several prayers and signs in her daily life pointing her toward the answer, she offered to be our surrogate. In the interim, I found myself pregnant with twins! We heard their heartbeats at 7 weeks but were devastated soon after to find that we lost both of them. 

During a surgery to remove a fibroid sometime after, I was woken to my mom having to deliver more news to me. I would never be able to carry a baby again. It was then, we turned to Amy and moved forward with her as our gestational carrier. The gift of life she’s provided to Clayton has humbled us beyond measure. I can’t even begin to think of words to say ‘thank you as those words don’t even exist. Clayton will forever know his story, and know that Amy is the amazing angel that made his life possible.

We are now in our 13th year of our journey and another amazing angel has offered to help us as a carrier. We have remaining embryos and will be attempting IVF transfer in the weeks ahead. Her offer is once again- indescribable in words. ❤️🌈

Melissa Konal Keen

One Person

Yesterday I was thinking about the surgery I had a few years ago to remove my tubes. I had just started posting about my infertility in Facebook after I caved and desperately needed the support.

Not sure why didn’t open up sooner. But when I did, I was flooded with private messages and people reaching out saying they had or are also going through the same thing.

There were times I looked at some of my closest friends and family for support. I was disappointed in a few of them by the silence I was met with. Maybe they didn’t know what to say. Maybe they were happy with their own pregnancies and felt awkward sharing their own happiness. 

Whatever it was that kept those individuals at bay, I lost sight of all the others that supported me through and through.

Out of the 60, 120 or 1,000 people supporting you, don’t let one person put you in the dark. 

You got this. We got this. Together.

Make Someone’s Day

Who has been your support as you’ve gone through this whole process?

Two friends whom I met through the IVF process became my rock. They knew the deep, down and ugly. I didn’t have to explain myself at any given point with what I was feeling. And today, we still consistently talk because let’s face it- this bond we share together is one that no one else will ever understand. 

While those that going through understand every bit of it, I also had my go-to that loved and supported me at all hours of the day no matter what. My sobs, screaming and pure silence on the other line we’re always met with compassion, understanding and love. 

As of recently, I’ve been contacted by those that just simply need someone who has or is going through the process. It’s okay to admit that while you have some awesome friends and support, you need something different. 

I’m always here to talk. About the shots. The horrible nights you’re just not in the mood for doing the deed! The vulnerable doctors appointments. I’m here for all of it. 

Shout out and tag in comments below for those you absolutely love and appreciate right now while you go through infertility! ❤️👏🏻

Crickets

During infertility, I found myself saying no more often. At the time, I didn’t completely realize it. Other times, it was more than obvious. I’d choose to stay in because I simply didn’t have the energy to put on a happy face. And I can most definitely admit that I chose not to attend baby showers so I didn’t have to pay attention to the deep pain in my gut.

I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me. I knew people just didn’t know WHAT to SAY. But not saying anything at all- felt even more isolating. If I brought up my worries and struggles again, would that be complaining? Are they sick of hearing it? Why haven’t they asked how things are going with it all?

So for all those supporting a momma-to-hopefully-be or a friend going through a rough patch not related to infertility, ❗️don’t ignore it.❗️Ask how things are. Send random messages that they’re on your mind. 

The MOST COMMON thing I hear today from my infertility community is that all their friends and family have gone silent. Even all the cliches and less-then-perfect responses are better then silence. 

Thanks for supporting us in our journey! ❤️🌈

Proud Partner

👏🏻❗️I AM SO EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE: Chosen Infertility Group has officially partnered with @rmaofmichigan! ❗️👏🏻

As a prior RMA patient myself, I couldn’t imagine having gone through the process with anyone else. From the Financial prep and awesome team that handled my health with utmost care, I’ll forever be thankful. 

If you’re struggling with infertility in the Detroit area- reach out and get all your questions answered. 🌈🌈

The Little Steps

And just like that. One chapter closes and another one opens. This weekend we bought a house. Five years ago, this house would have been a dream that I thought someone else would have achieved. But here we are, our first home up for sale. It got me thinking. All the little steps that led up to now, felt so small at the time. But all those little steps added up to something greater. Beyond what I ever thought possible.

While the days may feel long and each month passes with a negative, just know that the visits to doctors and blood results that come back- are just that- little steps. these days add up to the lessons learned along the way and a greater plan for the future.

When things finally solidify, its like a light bulb just instantly turns on. Your worry’s fall behind you and all of a sudden things fall into place.

Hang in there. You got this.