Happy Father’s Day!

One day late but HAPPY FATHERS DAY to all those daddy’s in all the phases of the journey! If it wasn’t for my other half, I wouldn’t have been able to get through as easy as I did. Our humor through the whole process kept me afloat!

“It’s okay to be new, to struggle, to change.”

It is so easy to feel isolated and alone during the whole infertility process. Hurts even more when you face another setback and it doesn’t seem like you have anyone to identify with. 

I took this picture the day of my D&C once I found out I was miscarrying. For those that are new to my posts, I chose to document the entire journey from start to finish. And when I look at this picture, I feel the pain all over again. The raw, defeated and utterly hopeless feelings come racing back. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. “It’s okay to be new, to struggle, to change.” And change you will. This is only one part of your story. As long as you have this deep, rooted, undeniable push to keep going forward- you will. 

If you need someone that understands, reach out to me. I’m a zoom call (and a glass of wine) away! Support socials are also held via Zoom once a month. Let’s help each other make this process a little bit more bearable. 

The Husband’s Perspective

Posted by Reproductive Medicine Associates of Michigan, I couldn’t help but share my husbands perspective on our journey. With it being Men’s Health Month, I think it’s important to recognize that they too have an emotional ride through infertility.

“When I found out that we would need to head down the IVF route I was 100% supportive. We wanted kids and I didn’t see anything getting in our way. The emotional roller coaster existed for my wife, but not so much for me. The hardest part to cope with was that emotional disconnect that I had to the process. Trying to understand how my wife felt and how real the process was for her was my biggest challenge. I looked at it as another thing to check off and do in order to get kids (Type A personality much?). Being able to listen, be patient, and try to understand being in her shoes was super helpful. 

Initially we had a miscarriage with our first transfer which was really where my emotions started. Being told there is no heartbeat is one of the most defeating things to hear. I was finally brought to tears. However – when I found out we had 2 heartbeats on our second transfer I was elated. Every milestone during the ultrasound process was a huge win. There are so many delicate timelines where you’re tracking the progress and hoping everything is fine. The happiest day of my life was delivery day when I heard the first cry and the second cry. I knew they made it and I knew I was officially a dad.” – Justin Clements

The Day Before Christmas Eve

Okay this post is halfway embarrassing! 😆

My eyes and face is all blotchy red from crying. Actually- more like sobbing. So this is for sure a picture I normally wouldn’t post for the world to see! 

Also embarrassing because of the story behind it. But I know anyone going through infertility can relate. 

My mom came over to my house the day before Christmas Eve to tell me that my brother and sister-in-law were pregnant again. We had started to try getting pregnant well before and they were already on their way to baby #2. This announcement hit me like a ton of bricks. Not because I wasn’t happy for them. Of course I was! But because it felt so painful to watch someone else’s life continue to evolve while mine was stopped dead in its tracks.

Needless to say, my husband didn’t know what to do. I was literally sobbing and hyper-ventilating. So he left and came back with 2 dozen long stemmed roses. 🌹 Gotta love these men, right?! ❤️ He then made me take a picture in front of our Christmas tree making sure we documented even the TOUGHEST times. 

Since it’s Men’s Health Month, let’s toast to all the men that join us in this infertility journey! 🍻

Don’t Stay There Long

My husband would generally say that I’m the person that see’s “the glass half empty”. If I’m being honest, it’s something I work on every day.
This past year I’ve arrived to a place of peace and happiness that was never felt before. Everyone that knows me has noticed. I’ve been proud and very at ease with life regardless of the struggles that have ensued.
But this week has been different. I’ve really felt that I’ve regressed back to that place of just overthinking, overanalyzing & straight up being in a funk.
So here it is. Give yourself permission to be mad. Be bitter. Angry. Sad. Jealous. Resentful.

Today’s Choices

I often found myself overwhelmed in the beginning with finances and how we were going to manage paying for IVF. 

Every single day, I’d make the choice not to eat out or buy the things I knew would only satisfy me for a few hours. It was those days that I found a bit of solace in that small amount of control. 

The money that was saved by the choices made, helped pave the way towards a much BIGGER GOAL. 

Don’t ever feel that your settling when making these choices or “missing out”. You’re simply making room for bigger things. ❤️

Better Together

We cannot continue to fight alone. Whether our battles are big or small, we’re ALL “better together”. 
Together we can achieve greatness. “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts”.