Blog

Reminder


If you’re losing your faith with all the chaos in the world right now and you’ve also been lost in your own infertility world- ❗️let this be your reminder. ❗️

There is light at the end of every tunnel. There is gold in EVERY story. 

It’s our decision whether we want to see the ashes or the beauty that rises from it. 

Soul on Fire

2020 has been straight-up HARD for everyone. It’s during these hard times that our desire for wanting more and making a difference sets a fire so deep that nothing can stop us. 

Whatever pursuit you’re on, love unconditionally for we’re all fighting battles. 

We’re all in this together. Making rainbows in every way we can. 🌈❤️

Meet Ashley

Joining the ‘Chosen’ team, Ashley not only had her own journey with infertility but works as a psychotherapist for children. As you can imagine, this profession had its challenges while she carved her way through her own struggles that ultimately led to her now ‘almost’ one year old little boy, Parker. 🌈👶❤️

Ashley is a huge support to our Chosen network with her involvement in our support socials and larger events. Giving those struggling additional coping tools as disappointments or set-backs come up and celebrating the wins, she’s a huge addition to our team. 

Our Tribute


Ain’t this the truth.

May we all use each and every day that was laid down by these true hero’s to reach our potential and see how far we can go. 

My motto is always “Better Together”- like Aristotle said, “The Whole is Greater than the Sum of its Parts.” 

What we all have to give to not only ourselves and each other is truly the ultimate tribute to those that sacrificed their lives for our freedom.

You Got This!


When you want something bad enough, you’ll figure it out. That’s why when someone says, “you got this!”, believe them! ‘Cause you’ll make it happen like you did everything else in your life!

Phases

In every life altering moment, there’s a bit of an emotional process.


When I first found out I needed to remove my tubes and do IVF, I guess you could say I was in denial. Angry. Bitter and full of doubt.


Once a few days passed- then a week- and then a month, it was enough time alone in my thoughts that I passed the “thinking” stage and started to believe again. Believe that all of this is possible. It wouldn’t be easy but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.


Then I quickly started to dream. I dreamt about the life I wanted. The family I so deeply yearned for. I imagined where we would live and all the memories we would make along the way.


Finally, just like Walt Disney says, I dared myself to plunge forward. I got determined and angry in a different way. One that made my stubborn side really stand out and want to prove to myself and everyone around me that I would be able to beat this. Conquer infertility and everything that comes with it.


All of these seasons throughout the process got me to the next chapter. I reflected, changed and showed up ready and willing for the next phase in this crazy journey.

Progress

I try to remind myself of this everyday.

Some days I don’t want to get on the peloton. Its hard to find the time for myself. To throw another load of laundry in or clean the kitchen for the 100th time.

Believe me, there are times I don’t do any of it! But on the days I’m trying to convince myself certain things are good idea to do, I literally put one foot in front of the other and slowly keep going. Even if it’s not at my normal pace.

Today is definitely one of those days.

It brings me back to when I didn’t want to do my shot for the day. Or I desperately wanted to just skip my doctors appointment because I was SO DONE. But I’d remind myself- its just one shot. Its just one appointment. When I’m done, I’ll reward myself with a glass of wine! 😆

Let this be a reminder to keep going. One task at a time. Because in the end, all those little moments that seemed so daunting will add up. And that my friend, is how we get to the things we want!

Let’s Change Legislation


With all the worries that come with infertility, finances shouldn’t be one of them. 

We could have paid off my student loans with what was spent. And it took us two years of saving to do so. All because I was reluctant to go forward knowing that if it wasn’t successful, I’d be in debt AND dealing with the pain. 

While I’m not technically one of the 400 advocates with RESOLVE (National Infertility Non-Profit), I stand along side them raising awareness and fighting for lawmakers to put pro-family legislation at the top of their list.
Everyone should have the same opportunity to get the care they need and not have to compromise.

Click link below and help send your request to Congress:
https://secure2.convio.net/res/site/Advocacy…

Bean #1

Things don’t always go as planned.

I wish someone would have told me that the first round of IVF may not be successful. Although, I suppose no one is going to just come out and invite you into a space of doubt when you’re about to take the big expensive and emotional plunge. But I guess a bit of reality might have helped. Especially with the big blow we faced 7 weeks later. 

Looking back, I always had a gut feeling that it was all too good to be true. Something didn’t feel right. I told people I was pregnant prematurely and when they said congratulations, I usually replied with a simple thanks. I didn’t feel the excitement that I thought I’d have- especially after all this time.

During a certain timeframe in the earliest days of the pregnancy, our doctor informed us that we should be expecting a heartbeat. There wasn’t one. She set an appointment to come back in a week and do one more check in hopes of more development. 

That week was agonizing. When it was confirmed there wasn’t a heart beat I instantly broke out in sobs. Heart wrenching, hyperventilating sobs. Since I was going to miscarry, I found it easier to just have the hospital put me to sleep and let me wake up to the next chapter. I didn’t have it in me to do it any other way. This picture was taken before I was wheeled into the OR for the D&C. 

Everything up to this point is enough to make someone want to quit. Pure torture and yet over the next 3 months I conjured up the faith to do it all again. 

And, I did do it again. But this time we got Bristol and Saylor. 🌈🌈